So.. I've just spent the past 3 days in this space of confusion.. and now all these thoughts are pouring out of me.... so this maybe all over the place but I have to get them out...
yesterday I was walking down the drive way and thinking about what I am most excited for when I have a little extra money... because for the past two months I have had only enough for rent, gas and food....
my answers?
david's tea .... I have 4 flavors from them that I absolutely love and when I have a little extra money I splurge on tea.... tea is comforting. read my lips, love potion #7 ,jessie's tea and mother's little helper.... they sooth my heart...
organic vegetables....I just feel better when I have organic veggies around... especially because I like to juice
yoga - I started doing hot yoga in the fall and it made me feel better about myself
healthy soap, so shampoo and conditioner that is free of parabens and is friendly to the evironmnent; dish soap and laundry detergent that is biodegradable and isn't tested on animals.
gluten free bread - its so expensive but delicious
anything organic - anything that I eat, I feel better when I eat organic things...
What I am most looking forward to having/doing/buying when I have money?
A kayak and a canoe
A tent and camping equipment
A really good camera
new clothes that fit
cute underwear
get a tattoo
make my own wine
having proper winter clothes
having a good computer
having environmentally friendly makeup
TRAVEL - I need to get on the road again... feel the earth and the world... meet new people... try new foods - its when I feel most alive
Fulfilling my bucket list
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My bucket list
learning the guitar
learning how to can my own produce
learning how to garden
learning how to turn over in a kayak
kayaking down the west coast of canada
sailing around the world
setting foot in every country in the world
learning spanish
learning italian
learning tibetan
learning sanscrit
public speaking
getting the nobel peace prize
building my own house
the gibbon experence in Laos
seeing the pyramids
swimming with dolphins
seeing the pyramids in as many countries as possible
going to a secluded waterfall with a large pool with a man I love
seeing base camp everest
learning yoga in India
visiting Dharamsala
visiting the salt flats - bolivia
visiting the gorges in Norway
going on a wine/food tour of Italy
running my hands along prayer wheels in Nepal
learning to surf
learning to rock climb
learning to sew costumes
owning a trampoline
having a swimming pool so I can swim laps
writing a book
owning a potters wheel and making my own plates
learning how to paint
soooooo... if that's what makes me happy... if those are the things I wantin my life... then what makes up happiness?
I asked myself why do I have to be poor? or what has being poor given me?
I now know what I want... I know what makes me excited to have when I don't have.
I know what I really want because I dream about it all the time. Poverty has shown me what I value most. A roof over my head, food, gas in my car, and my education. Close friends. clothes without holes. being able to go for sushi dinner once in a while. being able to buy people gifts - I'll be honest.. this is the hardest thing about poverty... not being able to give the people I love special gifts from me.
So what is happiness?
Happines is free from worry
free of concerns
free of stress
free of feeling empty
free of feeling lonely
free of anger
free of hatred
free of longing
free of missing
free of sadness
free of hunger
free of insecurity
free of judgement
free of guilt
free of shame
access to nature
time to spend with the people we love
freedom
Happiness is not a destination... happiness is inside of us when we remove all the negatives.
Imagine if we lived in a world that was not concerned with profits or money in anyway?
Imagine when you went to the hospital you got the best care for you... not the most efficient.. but the best care?
Imagine when you went to the super market you got the healthiest food?
Imagine you got the most environmentally friendly clothes?
Imagine your kids were taken care of when you needed them to be?
Imagine you got to travel when you wanted?
Imagine you got to fulfill your own bucket list?
Imagine or government consisted of a person from every demographic? Imagine our government was in fact the heads of all the NGOs in Canada? Or atleast the largest ones? All the organizations that had the country's true best interests at heart?
Imagine how much it would free up people if they didn't have to worry about school debt, a home or food? Imagine every person was given enough money to go back to school and learn anything they wanted?
there's a good question?
If you had enough time and money to go back to school for anything... what would it be?... just to see?
I have this idea of making a website where it asks a question and uses your camera to record your answers....just a huge compilation of answers from around the world
Some of the questions I would ask
well I guess 1. would be if you had enough time and money and making money after wasn't a concern... what would you go to school for?
Whats on your busket list?
What do you think happens when you die?
I want to ask the oldest, healthiest people in the world their philosophy on life and what they think has allowed them to be healthy for so long
What are the top 3 most important things you have learned in your life?
What are the consistant patterns in your life?
What is the most beautiful place you have ever been?
If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
What are your top 3 pieces of advice to anyone?
What is the order you dry yourself off when you get out of the shower?
What is your go to favorite food?
How do you eat your oreo cookie?
When you are in a hospital what are the things you are most concerned with?
What hurt you the most in your life?
What frustrates you the most?
What do you think needs to change most in the world?
What do we need to change to accomplish peace?
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In my world, in my experience happiness is letting go of judging... its trusting the universe to take care of you through listening to your heart... trusting your heart is in alignment with the universe...letting go of having to control things.... realizing that the way people talk to you, or about you is the way they talk to themselves.... that it has nothing to do with you...that's why we are all mirrors to eachother.
I am now seeing.... I find men that ignore me.. because I ignore myself.
and that is why I needed the train of thought... to get here.... fucking mirrors.
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