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Thursday, June 05, 2008

I don't get it...

So I've realized this week that I'm almost at 2.5 years of being single... and the truth of this sets me back.. its almost the same amount of time that I was in a relationship..

So it makes me wonder.. what the hell is wrong with me that I haven't found ANYONE.. to even date... but then I remembered.. I was a little fucked up after my ex... and I also don't tend to build very substantial relationships wiith people before i sleep with them.. and I also have a little unconscious cynicism for the opposite sex.. so I guess it makes a little sense...

But then I wonder... why is it that I have not found one guy that thinks that I'm just amazing and looks past all my insecurities and rediculousness... who knows... but then this leads me to something that was said to me last night..

I was at the local bar for trivia night and on my way out I talked for a couple of moments with the owners of the two foreigner bars... Both of these guys are in their mid 30s, both are married, both have been here for 10 years and both are friends with my boss... in fact one of them filled in for me at work when I went to Thailand a couple weeks back...

So we are talking... and then one of them says to the other.. you know this girl is a really cool girl... and he looks at me..., and says, you know in the past 5 years I would have to say that you are the coolest girl I've met...

Completely flattered.. I said thanks.. and then asked why they would say that.. considering I haven't really hung out with either of them very much... he said.. well, you are just a great person, you are outgoing and fun and friendly and personable and you just are a really great person.. and I just want you to know that... the other one agreed.. and I thanked them again... it was soo nice for people to say...

Then of course.. I said.. well then maybe you can explain to me why I've been single for 2 and a half years... they said.. well I don't know dear, but If either of us were single... we'd jump at the chance to date you... rironic isn't it!
I suppose though they see things in me that other guys wouldn't really see if they were just trying to get into my pants.

I just felt like I needed to write that down somewhere.. cause too often I forget the nie things people say...