Today was much better. I woke up depressed, and lay in bed for a while, procrastinating... and then my best friend called, and I told her that I was in bed... we hadn't talked since Friday when everything with my family went down. We talked briefly... and basically t one point she just said.. you need to just get out of bed and put this behind you.... so I did...
I'm realizing in order to not let this allow me to continue to play the victim I need to just let it be... and not dwell on it, although my ego is wanting me to feel sorry for myself and wallow in self pity....
I'm also aware that I am still seeking approval of people because I am telling them about what I'm going through... needing reassurance... I'm not sure exactly where needing that or not needing that lays in the whole scheme of things... but I think that when I get to a point where I have accepted that I can make the right choices for me, I won't need to share, and get people approving of the choices I have made.
a weird thing that happened to me today was a guy I know and had fooled around with... who hadn't really been all that great to me wrote me today and appologized for being a douche... we texted back and forth a couple of times.. and that was it...
its all trial and error and observing where in my life I behave a certain way, and trying to change that behaviour.
we'll see.
No comments:
Post a Comment