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Thursday, December 23, 2010

what i need/ who I am/what I want.

So I think that most of us have no idea what we want, who we are and what we need... so I've decided that in hopes of answering these questions I am going to start recording what I think I need... with no judgement.

So... this list might be short to begin with.. but I'm going to try to add to it, every time I think of a new thing that I have discovered about myself.

So first thing is that I never know what you are thinking... so I come up with a thousand and one explanations and usually its so far off... so I need to know what you are thinking.. what your motivations are... I need you to explain yourself.. not because I want to judge you or argue with you.. simply because I want to knoww what causes you to do the things you do.

What else. I need you to ask me how things occur for me.. so I can explain myself.. because sometimes what I do may not portray what you think it should... because I think differently...

So if you don't call for a couple of days I am going to start thinking I did something wrong... no matter how the last time I saw you ended... I'm going to come up with 100 reasons why you don't like me anymore.

I need someone to do nice, sweet things for me.... I experience that as caring.

I need you to be enthusiastic about the things that I am enthusiastic about... I want you to be as excited about stupid shit as I am... and not be embarrassed about it.

I need you to be able to spend hours just touching each other... no sex. just touch.. soft, unending touch.

I need you to ask me about me.. I want you to be interested in me... and show me that you really want to get to know me more.

ok that's what I have right now.

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