you are in others, others are in you. FB convo

I posted this picture on my facebook today, this is the conversation that ensued. I felt I articulated myself well so felt that it was an appropriate post. 

• S:  I don't believe that. I resent child abusers and rapists. I resent acts of violence against defenseless people and animals. I resent greed. Bigotry. Racism and homophobia. All of these things I strongly react to...and they are not a part of who I am.

  
  
• J: Touché, 
  But this thought totally joins with my theory on the causes of homophobia.

  
  
• 

  Me:  it;s recognizing that you have that in you.. that you have the ability to be ignorant and thus cause pain to others..... that your pain and your reactions to it are the same as others..... that for the most part you choose to conduct yourself in a way that is in alignment with love... but regardless you still have the crappy parts buried inside you.... we are no different than anyone else... our life experience just brings different human responses to the surface... but being human doesn't change from person to person.
• J: -  "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." - Anais Nin.

  
  
• ME :  I held the same belief you did for years...the exercise is more the day to day things.... the more I look at the things that I react to, the more I let go of what I react to, allowing myself the space to be happy...i actually watch whenever something bothers me... and ask myself if it;s something I do too...but can't admit to... and usually - it is..even if it's something i did a a child who didn't know better... . like getting upset about the dishes not being done...they are not done because I haven't done them... anything I am upset about brings awareness to parts of myself that I don't particularly like... hate for an abuser is no different than the abusers hate for themselves.. it perpetuates the pain.. and eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.... is a very REAL statement... .. if you had grown up being tortured with no love.... you too may have grown up to be an asshole. babies are not born to hate.... they learn that.... compassion is the only way to peace. the only way. and the only way that happens is to become fully integrated into yourself and realize that being human is the human experience... that you reside in everyone and everyone resides in you.... the moment you know how to defeat your enemy is the moment you love them. true... and horribly difficult to accept. BUT it's all a balance.... and you know your own truth.... whatever works for you is the best way.... this is just what I have come to accept over the past year.... and I am happier than I have ever been... but that's all the evidence I have... my own experience. love you. xoxoxoxox

  
  
•  I have been trying to cultivate this kind of compassion within myself lately as well. It is so healing to be able to hold your temper when something upsets you and instead try to see the truth behind the other person's actions. 
  You are such a nurturing little sage, Amanda 

  
  
• S: she really is. 

  
  
• Me: thanks for letting me share, I know what I think is quite weird and abstract... but I have learned so much about being human over the past few years.. and its an evolution...I appreciate being able to attempt to articulate all the thoughts in my head in a way that is palatable and still respects the idea that those kind of negative actions are wrong... I suppose I chew little pieces.... I'll share two realizations that I have had recently - they are raw thoughts and I haven't figured out how to completely accept them yet.. or even if they are fully the truth... BUT. 1. I fight with myself and others when I can;t let go of people that hurt me. 2. I get so angry when someone hurts me that I know loves/adores me. Both of these realizations have been looong drawn out conversations with myself and the conclusions I have come to hypothesize about myself... and consequently others is: 1. I love unconditionally and I have been hating myself and the universe for making me the kind of person that would love someone when they have done attrociously mean things to me. 2. I have always trusted people off the bat and it breaks my heart when someone makes a mistake big enough to get me to stop trusting them.... I hate not being able to trust people I love and thus have hated myself for wanting to stop trusting them. and so have spent years trying to find that trust again within myself... battling over keeping people in my life that are so disconnected from their heart and so unconscious that they behave in a way that directly hurts me. The truth is, they don't trust themselves and because of their own fears its a space in their behaviour that they are directly unconscious of... and perhaps? I can finally reach a point where I value my own ability to assess situations in a reasonable way that allows me the freedom to love others, even those that cause hurt -

  
  
• Me:  well that was an intense moment inside my head, trying to articulate that... the second was a thought I had last night... so it's the first time I've written it down.