So I met this guy last week at the local bar.. he seemed really great and we talked about all sorts of things,,, in fact he even ended up inviting himself on my trip at Christmas to Indonesia... I was flattered and of course all these crazy fantasies started rolling around in my head... I said good night to him at the bar with a little butterfly in my stomach only to have him call me on my way home to thank me for a great night and great conversation and to confirm that he would see me again the next day...
I assured him he would and hung up.
the next day he wasn't where he said he would be.. and then called to apologize that he had slept in, but asked if we could meet up later... there was already plans to go to the local bar again.. so I said I'd be there.. we spent the night chatting, and although I was surprised and how ridiculously drunk he was at the end of the night he asked if I would come home with him and I said yes...
on the way home I gave him shit for being so drunk.. for running out of money etc... and when he got defensive I realized that maybe he wasn't the kind of guy that deserved to be mocked and that perhaps my busting his balls was having the opposite effect than I had intended so stopped...
I spent the night with him... then the next day... he cooked for me, played the guitar, watched movies.. it was delightful.. then at one point he confessed something about his past that sort of bothered me, but I let slide... by the end of the night I had confessed that it had bothered me, we had talked about it, so when he asked me to stay again... I said yes. oh I should tell you... I didn't sleep with him... and of course.. you know why.
When we woke up in the morning he wouldn't budge... wouldn't kiss me, wouldn't even say good bye to me... so I left, I am resolved in life these days to not pine for things that aren't given to me openly and not want things that aren't good for me... so I left without any protests.. except of course in ,my own head!
That night he called and apologized for not waking up... he ended up calling me every night all week just to check in talk for a few minutes then get off... by Thursday I was excited to see him again, so when I walked into the bar and he was trashed again I was a little disappointed.. I had spent the week debating whether or not he would be the kind of guy I would want to date and concluded that I would just live in the now and not analyze it too much...
well we hung out and after a few hours he confessed that he was worried that it had all been a mistake.. that I was a good girl and that he didn't want to hurt me... something I protested... but eventually said.. "i will tell you once that you are good enough for me and that we can try to make it work, but only once... I won't spend my time trying to convince you"
I spent the next few hours being really upset and confused over the whole thing.. telling my friends... trying to not like him.. being angry that here I thought I was deciding whether to proceed.. and he was the one cutting off any hopes for anything...
well this is where my old self got the best of me.. and despite his declaration of nothing going to happen between us, I still went home with him...
we didn't sleep together again, but still had fun.. and then ended up spending the next day together... me being embarrassed that I had complained about him the night before and here I was hanging out with him like nothing had happened.. I was worried what my friends would think of me.. not only that they would think I was ridiculous but that the person that they thought of me, this strong, independent person was a facade... and that in fact I was an impostor...
well we ended up having a lovely day... hanging out with his friends... all of us tending to do our own thing.. at the end of the night we headed downtown and the girls wanted to go to Karaoke.. so we went.. by 3am...I decided to leave because we had planned on going to this mask festival the next morning... they had all said they would come... and even though he was trashed he promised he'd wake up... I had the flashback of him not moving the previous Monday... seeing how drunk he was, I didn't expect much, but gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I went home and went to sleep... in the morning.. I called.. and texted to no avail... I called and texted the other single girl that was there too... also to no avail... they were MIA.. so I went off with my friends to the festival...
Upon arriving at the festival we met this very nice guy... he seemed jovial, full of life and when we got to talking he was very interesting.. I later found out that he was the same age as me, which shocked me, but tangent... He ended up asking me if I wanted a stuffed animal as we walked through the different fair games... and seeing as no one had ever won me anything I accepted the offer.. he won me this Korean doll from the game where you have to pop balloons... we all took off and ended up in this open area... and he called his friends who were supposed to meet up with him.
Then my friends took off... I felt inclined to follow them, so I turned to go and he said.. well I have to stay here... so I guess this is good bye.. I guess it is.. and then took off. I ended up following my friends for about 30 minutes to this food gala thing.. and was bored silly.. thinking how it would be nice to get his phone number... and being bored, I realized that I didn't have to be miserable.. I could in fact go off on my own... so I did.
I informed my friends that i was going to go off on my own... with full intention of returning or meeting up with them in a short while i wanted some time to myself.. and if I ran into the guy again.. it wouldn't be so bad... while I was leaving I was thinking to myself how my girlfriends weer thinking I was on a mission to find this stranger.. and started to feel the judgements creeping in.. but never minded them and took off.. I spent about 30 minutes on y own when I ran into him and his friends again...
oh I forgot to tell you.. at one point I had been stopped by this girl who had asked me where I had gotten the doll... I told her.. and then because she looked so enthusiastic about it, I asked her if she wanted it.. and gave it to her...
So when I ran into the guy and his friends again.. the first thing he asked was where the doll was.. I had to confess that I had given it away.. he joked about it.. his friends joked about it.. and then they invited me to join them for something to eat...
After, they invited me to go see the mas dance.. the only reason I had come to the festival int he first place.. so I said yes... when we got there, there was a line up and this stranger came up to me and gave me 3 tickets for free... ahhhh KARMA!
So we went and watched the show... at one point I texted my friends.. and they said they were eating.. so I stayed...
After on our way out.. we came across this stand that was selling bubbles... and so played for 30 minutes with these little kids and bubbles.. it was soo much fun!
About 20 minutes later I ran into my friends again.. and told them about how much fun I had had.... in asking them what they had been up to I got this sense of resentment and judgement upon seeing that i was hanging out with the original guy... I was having so much fun that I decided i couldn't be bothered with their negative energy so I decided to continue my afternoon with my new friends... by the time the evening had rolled around I was thoroughly enjoying myself.. even though the guy had given me no reciprocation in being attracted to me... so when his friends invited me back to their town for the night I thought it would be fun...
At first I declined their invite because of what I thought my friends might think of me... but then when asked for a second time I decided why the fuck not!
So I tried calling my friends.. but no one responded... so I left, letting another guy that was travelling with them know that I wasn't going to come home with them...
On my way out of the city I felt that I knew I was being judged.. they were all going to think I was going off to another city with some strange guy... not that there is anything wrong with that.. and there's not much saying I wouldn't do that... I still felt judged...and embarrassed... but figured they'd get over it..
well when we got to their town I checked for when the last bus was leaving, just in case I did decide on going back home...
we ended up having a lovely dinner and when I was just about to leave they asked me to stay... promised me a good night.. so I stayed..
we ended up at this foreigners bar... and I drank and played darts and had a great time...
At the bar I met this group of Engineers from Scotland.. a great group of men... all of which were in their 40s and 50s... except for 2.. one of which was really excited to be going home the following week to see his GF and the other... a very handsome, 6'4" intriguing man.. RS... We talked for a little but then he went off with his friends...
The night turned later and me and the Scottish folk sang along with Frankie on the sound system.. it was great.... but I couldn't stop thinking about this RS guy... so as my intoxication increased.. I finally got out the nerve and confronted him...
Not sure exactly what I said.. but I lead with "well that was the longest 10 minutes in the history of the world" he asked what i meant... and then without any restraint I gave him shit for saying he'd be back and then never return:P or well return a couple hours later...
In so many well placed words I suggested that I wanted to sleep with him... but oddly enough it started off with, I'm the kind of girl guys fall in love with... they are terrified of me, because I really am what I say I am... I'm honest and kind.. and well I'm a great catch... so I'm not expecting that... just one night... no strings... would that be ok with you???" LOL... well I didn't expect any other response than the one I got.. I don't know where that whole I'm the kind of girl that men fall in love with came from.. because well we all know that no one has ever been in love with me... but I guess that's how I've changed in the past 6 months.. I realize that I really am great.. and if I am going to have a one night stand its not cause that's all I can get, but that's what I want...
He wanted to leave right away... but I asked to stay a little longer.. so we drank and hung out with his friends...
We chatted and he surprised me by giving me space to talk about my mom and opening up about some things about his family...
at about 2am we left and went back to his hotel room...
The night just got better and better.. he turned out to be this fantastic guy.. we talked and laughed and listened to music, he made me feel so comfortable... and sexy, and satisfied.. he was all about me.. and I all about it him... he was lovely..
The next morning he had to go to work... and although I protested, the fact that even after an hour of sleep he was trying to be responsible was a crazy turn on.... I knew that that would be it for us... even though I was a little disappointed by it... I kissed him good bye... left my number "just in case" and left.
On my way home all I could think of was how perfect it had all worked out... even though I was walking into an environment where I had to explain and justify me leaving my friends I didn't regret any of it... RS showed me... like DB had that great guys do exist.. and here I was thinking about the Indonesian guy.. willing to overlook the things that severely bothered me about him ( not to mention the fact that he had basically rejected me and I was still wanting it to work) when RS walked into my life and showed me the guy that I want... the guy I eventually want to be with really does exist... and the men I am meeting just get better and better.... that he's just right around the corner...
So I guess, despite all life's crazies... sometimes you really are, just where you are supposed to be!
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