It's 3 days later.. I have been discombobulated in all ways since my interview. It's all the feels and my fingers don't seem to move as fast as how much there is to write to explain all that I am going through internally.
But alas... The reason I came here finally... Was I am laying in bed.. Thinking about how I may be afraid of getting my dreams... And what the hell that's about.... And then I have this image in my head... Randomly I think of how I can encorporate that vision into my mobiles.... Flash....
The mobiles... The key was always the mobiles.... An idea that was sparked when I quit nursing school and I was trying to find my love and joy and started making mobiles again.....
And then I saw me sitting on james floor... Looking up at him with the case with all my mobile stuff.. Me showing him what I was creating... Knowing full well how cheesy and insane it sounded.
And he looks down and said.. And you could make giant mobiles. 😳 And sell them.. People would love those in their gardens. 😳😍 I looked down and immediately wanted to cry... Everyone else had thought I was crazy... And here this stranger was rooting me on... And creating bigger dreams..... I fell in love.
In that split second I remember asking myself.... Do you want to remember this was the moment.. Do you want to tell him? If he reacts poorly you know he doesn't feel what you feel... If he accepts it... He might be the one... You are going out west anyways... Who cares if you fall in love for one night again.....
I looked up and said 'this is the moment I fell in love with you'
I can't remember when I said I love you straight up... But i do remember that moment... And right now, laying next to him and our 3 babies in the belly of Optimystic Prime... Dreaming about this crazy hopeful plan I have to get our farm and RV park and create the first Wandering Footprint farm... Thinking about all the work I did on the website yesterday trying to get the idea down in practical terms.... Imagining the metal shop..... I saw the mobiles...
8 years it's been.... Heading into 9..... And maybe this is the year.
Over the past 8 years the mobiles come up from time to time.. When James went to welding school we said even if he doesn't become a welder.. Atleast now we will know how to make our mobiles... We've in the past year come up with the idea of the butterflies as resin... We've figured out some basic movement components... We've thought about integrating water and bubbles... It'd like if this damn mobile gets made.... That's the universal sign I made it....
And that will only come if I get my land and my dream... 1000s of Wandering Footprint farms that provide sanctuary.
Camp as life.
Could I really have all my dreams come true by just being myself? And sharing the journey?
After the Shipwreck show I immediately wanted to come here and try and finish the story that I was in the process of sharing.... But i was so shook I couldn't even come here. I called my friend. I needed cheerleading... I felt so raw. So transparent, so vulnerable....
My friend said a bunch of ppl wrote they were going to come check it out.....
I am integrating that this is the time for me to integrate. Integrate this part of me and really own it. So.. If you are here. Welcome welcome to the mind of a 24 year old in 2006.... And this crazy journey to here.
This is my journey to self love.... Turned out I had to kiss alot of frogs before I found my handsome prince.
I hope you find your own humanity in my words. I truly believe we rise together and as each of us throws the shackles of shame and guilt out and surrender to the story. The story of curiosity and grief, lust and love, surrender and intuition... The journey and its redemption through self love....
Self love is the revolution.
As each of us learns to love ourselves the more we open to our divinity and the perfection of creativity we all are.
May we heal and come back to Mother nature. To our synergy with the all that is. Christ Consciousness. Forgiveness. Gratitude. Surrender. Faith. Hope. Love.
Confession..
These are my Confessions.... These are my sins. This is me missing the mark, countless times... Until I, Amanda Jones... Became an Archer....
I am only now coming to accept how blessed I am..
With my simple little life... How I chose right. I did what ever I was supposed to do... Right.
I have no regrets. None. Well except not getting that morning glory tattoo in Thailand to represent that surgery.
But other than that....
All my dreams came true.. The ones that matter.
And so maybe, just maybe if I continue following the blueprint I already laid out for myself... Maybe the rest of them will come true too.
My farm, horses, travelling to Ireland, central America, leaving the earth a better place than how I found it.
Whoever you are. If you are reading this.. Your story matters. It is through our stories we heal. We find our humanity.
It was never you... it was the environment you were / are in.
If you believe life should be full of joy and want to help me bring my vision to life. Please check out www.wanderingfootprint.ca and wanderingfootprint on tiktok and instagram.
If you want to see me look for truth and #talkoutmyshit my tik tok is @optimysticprime2.0
If you want to see our journey with Optimystic Prime in pictures @optimysticprime on Instagram.
I'm ready to rise with you. ✌️🖖❤️🙏🌱🌎🌍🌏❤️❤️🤞🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🙏❤️
And build my really big metal mobiles.
