Most people haven't documented the rawness of their lives across such shifts publicly while they are happening. I believe I have had the life I have in order to be able to see past lines and boxes. In order to see past prejudice and fear. I see myself in all beings... So what does that mean?
Well I've been thinking about what to write here... Where am I in my head and what do I want to share so vulnerable these days with a child I have to protect as well as teach the world is good too.
This mother thing is a real balancing act and through all the advice I've been given one thing that constantly rings true is nothing is black and white. It's pretty much my opinion on everything now a days.
So what does that look like? Well let's start at breastfeeding. This is one of those controversial subjects. There is the breastfeeding camp and the formula camp. Each has their reasons to support their own ideas. Breast is best is a catch phrase that just like formula, I'm sure had a catch phrase, it helps normalize it, yet then there is this weird guilt that some mothers say they have when they can't breastfeed.
Ultimately your decisions around your body and your child are your own. I don't think it's anyone's job to tell you What's best for you and your family. Love. That's the answer. What ever that looks like for you.
We all have issues around love and care and affection. Family is a way of slowly exposing the rawness of our hearts, our insecurities. Tearing us down and building ourselves back up every day.
So what 1000 kids were scrutinized using the scientific method. In every bell curve there are outliers.
I think the revolution we are currently in is one of self. Growing into our own hearts and souls. Learning our connection to all. That our unique perspective is the view the universe choose to see itself. Parenting is a course in that.
If there is one thing I have learned in the past 8 months. Its that my baby chose me. With all my flaws. She too will grow and learn and fumble and explore her limits and hopefully by being vulnerable I can help clear a path so she is able to thrive.
Ok I wrote half of this a month ago. I just wanted to get it posted. So I'll leave it there.
March is always our time to plan another year ahead. Figure out what's next. This past moth has be en ridiculous. In the end our car died an hour from home 3 weeks ago. Our friends came to our rescue. The child tax credit that I was stressing about over the past I months came through the day we found a truck that would suit our needs. So we have a truck and we are making a plan. And I feel better everyday the light wins over the dark and our days get longer.
Full moon is coming. Time for a breakthrouh.
